Silence
by BooksAreMySocialCircle
Summary: Albus is done with being unloved. Silence is unending, as are the voices in his head. Rated M for self-harm and other mature content
1. Chapter 1

Silence. The room was filled with an unending silence. All that could be heard was a faint ringing in Albus' right ear. He glanced over at the bed beside his, the pillow curving underneath the small, pale head of the boy occupying the bed. Albus still couldn't sleep. The endless dreams which reminded him of her, the memory of the boy being rejected but still being in love with Rose, it all killed him. He desperately urged for the universe to be on his side, just this once. He couldn't force feelings, but he just wished for something to change. He wished to feel loved, to not be rejected. Ever since the harsh words of his father and the events of the previous year, he could hear nothing but the harsh voices in his mind screaming that no one loved him. He was done. He was broken.

Silently, he made his way to the dormitory's washroom. The door shut behind him, and he locked it as quietly as he could manage. He heard nothing but the sound of the other boy's snores. As his mind filled with awful thoughts, a single tear trailed down his pale cheek. Shortly, the tear was followed by others, ending with Albus being taken by sobs which wracked his small frame. He could hear muffled sounds behind the door and, scared that his roommate would wake up, he casted a silencing charm on the door. He would not be heard now.

The noises outside ceased. Scorpius had fallen asleep. Albus drew in a sharp breath as his sobs continued. He was tired of everything. He was tired of feeling so unloved, so tortured. He hated that word. Tortured. He hated the memories it brought back, the sounds of Scorpius screaming out in pain. He hated Delphi and all the harm she had done. He hated living.

An object shined overhead, as if it was calling to him. He answered it. Drawings appeared on his arm, straight lines drawn in the deep red colour of oxygenised blood. He continued drawing for hours, taking it as slowly as he could. Once he finished, he quickly nodded off, not bothering to wash up.

The morning light woke Scorpius. After a bout of confusion as to how Albus had woken up before him, he realised that he desperately needed the loo. Upon noticing that the door was locked, he gently questioned if anyone was in the washroom. No answer came. Scorpius unlocked the door with a quick flick of his wand, gasping the second he caught sight of his best mate on the floor.

"ALBUS?!"


	2. Chapter 2

Albus Severus awoke with a start upon hearing his name. Without realising where he was, he mumbled the other boy's name in a questioning manner. "Scorp? What's wrong?"

He slowly came to the realisation that he had been caught red handed, or rather, red armed. Scorpius was appalled. He would never have thought that this would happen. "Albus what did you do to yourself?" he questioned in a near-silent whisper. He could barely bring himself to move. His pale legs were stuck to the ground, barely missing the small pool of blood coming from his best friend's arm.

"I- I um, it was an accident. I accidentally cut myself with my razor while I was shaving," Albus mumbled unconvincingly. Scorpius' eyes flashed with pain upon hearing the stuttered reply. "Albus, you know I'm not stupid. Why did you hurt yourself? What's going on? You can talk to me."

A sigh slipped through the lips of the black-haired boy. His green eyes shone with sadness. He had hoped this would never happen.

"I can't tell you why, Scorpius. I just- I can't do it."

"Why not? Don't you trust me?" The question was laced with despair and desperation. Scorpius had never worried about Albus as much as he did in that moment. He had never thought that Albus would hurt himself. He never thought that he wouldn't tell him if something was wrong.

Pools of tears were threatening to spill out of Albus' eyes. "Of course I trust you, Scorpius," he whispered, his voice trembling. "Then tell me what's going on. Please." Scorpius was kneeling beside him now, his soft hands holding Albus' arm as he looked over the wound, making sure the bleeding had stopped.

"Scorpius I can't. I don't want to lose you."

"Albus you will never lose me. I will stay by you no matter what. Just please tell me what's going on. You're scaring me," Scorpius had matched Albus' dynamic, his voice lowering to a soft pianissimo. Albus stared into Scorpius' cool grey eyes. He didn't know what to do. Tell Scorpius and risk losing his best friend or don't tell him and risk straining their friendship? He stayed silent for a few minutes before deciding what to do.

His bottom lip quivered as he turned his head. "I'm so sorry but I can't tell you. If you knew what it was, you would hate me. Things wouldn't be the same. I want to tell you so bad, but I can't risk losing you because of my own stupidity."

Scorpius sighed as he pulled Albus into a hug. "Albus I can't hate you. It's impossible. It's as impossible as the existence of Nargles. But I won't force you to tell me. Just please tell me you won't hurt yourself anymore. I just want you to be happy. If you need me, I'm always here."

A long, drawn-out breath could be heard escaping from Albus' small lips. "Thank you…" he whispered into the white-blonde hair of the boy he loved more than anything in the world.


End file.
